


Finding Solace

by super_rainbow2021



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, College AU, High School AU, M/M, Major OOC, Major character death - Freeform, Traumatic Amnesia, Whump, and then said to make her cry, be prepared, character whump, cousin shisui, enjoy, fugaku commits suicice, i wrote this for class, mikoto gets cancer, my teacher made me rewrite the thing bc i had a happy ending, sasuke whump, sasuke's parents die, so i hope i did, take it with a grain of salt, this is just prose, uchiha sasuke whump, uncle obito
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 19:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20680514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/super_rainbow2021/pseuds/super_rainbow2021
Summary: High school was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be challenging. It wasn't supposed to be hard, or sad, or anguishing. But it was. It was all of that. And he forgot his best friend promised he'd be there for him.





	Finding Solace

**Author's Note:**

> this is chapter four of my SasuNaruSasu work, but I wanted to post it separately. first part is the rewrite and the second is the original. hope you enjoy!

Walking home from school is never fun, especially if your house is farther than just a few blocks. It gives too much time to think, to worry, to tear your heart apart with your emotions. Today I walk home alone and my thoughts are far from peaceful.

_"The cancer came back,” they had told my mother. Gone for nearly twenty years and now it was staring my sweet, young mother in the face, threatening to swallow her whole. My throat refused to make any sound, my hands stilled around my phone. The blond on the other end offered his comforting presence._

I remember the way my mother had acted that day, still running around the house like normal but with a noticeable deflation. Her smile that was normally oh-so-radiant was flat and forced; her onyx eyes that normally bounced and laughed were dull. I blink, trying to rid the image from my thoughts but the fresh, scarring memories keep coming.

_Her first appointment with a specialist. My father sat next to her, holding her hand in a secure grip; my uncle stood to the side, anger over this happening to his beloved sister again hidden underneath a cool mask; myself sitting in a spare chair, hands running over each other so hard my knuckles were white, and a headache I couldn’t explain; a tall, sturdy, blond best friend, my anchor, with a hand firmly on my shoulder. Everything will be fine, your mother will be fine, she beat it once she can beat it again._

_“You have six months, at most.”_

My breath catches and in the back of my mind I wish I hadn’t decided to walk home alone. I need an anchor, especially today. My fingers grip the hem of my black sweater and I am faintly worried I will tear it apart at the seams. Remembering sears my brain harder than any migraine I’ve had. My eyebrows knit together as a hiccup tears itself from my throat. No more.

_He found me in the back of the library. He didn’t ask if I was supposed to be in class, said nothing as he sat down next to me and coaxed my arms to unwrap from my legs so he could hold me. I didn’t cry, refused to cry, and my head buried itself into a protective shoulder. Why did it have to be her? I’m not ready, I need to graduate. If my tears soaked his jacket, he didn’t say anything and just held me tighter._

My lips quiver and I duck my head, yelling at myself not to cry openly on a sidewalk. The lines of the sidewalk blur and my face heats to a tomato color. My throat burns and stings and I can’t bear to open my mouth to let the outside air hit it. Blinking multiple times, I try to prevent the tears from falling, but I feel them sliding across my eyes and know it is too late. I gasp in another breath as a tear slides along my nose.

_“May I be excused.” It was polite, but lacked any real emotion. At the nod from the head of the table, I gathered my dishes and returned them to the sink. Blue carpet was the only thing filling my vision until my feet hit a wooden leg, and my body fell onto my black bedsheets. I gazed up but my eyes did not see; everything was blurred as my mind replayed the doctor’s words. Six months at best. Graduation was in about three, so hopefully she’d be able to hang on until then, if not after. But … what if she couldn’t? What if she died sooner than that, unable to go to the market that was always a week after school ended? What if she died before graduation and I was forced to walk the stage without those kind, onyx eyes following me? What if I broke down during marching practice because she died and there wouldn’t be anyone to console me-_

_I hadn’t noticed the bed dipped until arms wrapped around me and a warm face snuggled into my neck. Breathing out released a tension I didn’t know was there, and only then did I realize my face was wet. “It’ll be okay, she’ll be fine. Everything will be fine.” I took a deep breath, wincing at the sharp pain in my throat. Shuddering breaths and soft cooing filled my room and eventually I calmed down._

_“Sorry,” I croaked, throat still somehow on fire, “didn’t realize I was working myself into a panic.”_

_Bright blue eyes bore into my onyx ones and his face broke out in a grin that wasn’t quite as wide as his usual ones. His head tilted towards the corner of my room, and my mouth twisted in an embarrassed smile by what I saw there. I hadn’t even taken my books out of my bag yet. “Let’s work on Chemistry, yeah?”_

A harsh breath leaves my lips as I let out a small whine that suspiciously sounds like _his _name. Fresh tears hit the back of my bare hand as I swipe it across my face. I refuse to cry in public, it is humiliating … even if there is no one around me on this particular sidewalk. My legs almost splay out beneath me as my foot hits something unexpectedly, and I sigh when I look up. Fishing my keys out of my pocket I enter my home, still sniffling, and I run my hand across my face one more time before calling out to my father.

“I’m home.” My voice carries through the house but I get no response. I sigh as I think about my next homework project, planning on texting _him _as I place my shoes beside the door. “Dad?” Still no answer. I frown because it is Tuesday- he is not working. And Mom’s funeral is being held later today [I pointedly ignore the way my throat tightens at the thought] so there is little chance he is out. I go to my room so I can set my bag down and look for him, but I do not miss the fact that the home phone was off the charger and had fallen on the floor. I squint at it. Reaching my door at the end of the hallway, I turn my head to call again when something catches my eye. My door is already open. I knit my brows at that and gingerly step in, dropping my bag as I take in the horrific scene in front of me.

“Dad…!” And as the choked cry rips from my throat I wish once again that I’d asked that stupid blond to walk home with me.

* * *

People say that when things are going too well, something bad has to happen to balance life out. I don’t believe it for a minute. We had our share of tragedy; divorce, bankruptcy, getting kicked out of the house I grew up in. My brother Itachi left when I was a kid and no one told me why. My cousin Shisui stopped coming over after he got a girlfriend. My own father stopped talking to me when I picked up art as a hobby. We were never a peaceful family, but we tried and I never deserved this.

My mother got sick. The doctors said the cancer was there for a long time. She died before I graduated. My father couldn’t handle raising me by himself and so he left me in the most traumatic way possible. I was the one who had to watch as the paramedics dragged his body out of my own room, and I had to cut the rope down. I couldn’t enter my room for weeks, felt sick at the mere sight of my door.

My uncle Obito was the only thing that kept me together. He was the only thing that drove me to finish high school. I cut myself off from everyone else, but I could never ignore him- my mother’s brother. Even if he asked me questions everyday, like “did you make any friends today?” or “who annoyed you the least?” I couldn’t hate him. He was also the reason I stopped looking through the window before I opened the door.

The first time I met _him,_ I slammed the door in his face. I had opened it expecting my uncle, and instead of seeing pasty skin and inky hair so like mine, I saw sunkissed skin and gold hair. And he had the most annoying smile on his face. He was rambling on about school and how we never talked anymore, but I honestly couldn’t remember him, and I’d definitely remember someone so annoying. He looked like an angel, and I couldn’t figure out why I felt like that. Was it a sign? Did Karma feel bad for all the shit she’s caused and decide to send me an angel? Well, too bad, Karma, it’s too late to apologize. An hour later my uncle showed up, and he didn’t understand why I had my headphones in or held a scowl on my face. 

The second time I met _him _was at graduation, and we stood next to each other on the risers. During marching practice I hadn’t paid attention to him, focusing on what my uncle had said that morning; Itachi had contacted him and was planning on coming to my graduation, and he didn’t like that idea. The thought of seeing him excited me as much as it hurt me, and I couldn’t get the blurry, nearly forgotten image of him out of my head. After receiving our diplomas, Naruto nudged my shoulder with his, beaming at me with that obnoxious face of his. I glared at him before looking forward again, and caught the leaving swish of hair of someone who looked so familiar it made my throat tighten.

The third time I met _him _was when I stopped by the coffee shop across the street from a community college I was touring. It was weird seeing him so far from our hometown, and he explained to me that his father Minato was essentially the head of the college. He was spending the days his father had meetings working as a barista. After his shift we sat and talked over cups of coffee, and it was nearly half an hour before I realized what I was doing and left abruptly. I didn’t have to look behind me to know he was frowning behind his wave.

The fourth time I met _him _was on move-in day. I had decided to go to the community college, and my uncle bought me a black Jetta I could use to make the four-hour drive home when I needed. As I was straightening the comforter on my bed, I heard footsteps walk in behind me. I turned, assuming it was my roommate, and those bright cerulean eyes bore into my onyx ones. I couldn’t believe my luck. I scowled and called him a bastard for not telling me he had also applied. Naruto shrugged, threw me his usual grin, and unpacked his own things. By the end of the day, our room looked like Halloween incarnate with my black bedding and his orange. Even his wardrobe was full of orange clothes. It was such an obnoxious color. I promised myself I would avoid him at all costs.

The fifth time I saw _him _was after a frat party I’d been invited too. I hadn’t pledged to any, but I was invited anyway. It had gotten crazy and I bailed the second I smelled marijuana. Changed into sweatpants and doing homework, I looked up as he stumbled in two hours after I left, setting my reading glasses on my textbook. “Wild party?” I’d asked him. He beamed at me. “You don’t know the half of it.” I didn’t want to. I had to look down to hide the small smile and covered it up with an insult.

At some point I realized that I actually enjoyed Naruto's presence. It was like a warm, home-scented candle when you most needed it. I tried to catch him in between our classes, made sure I went to dinner when he got out of class. I let him introduce me to the friends he’d made in his classes. I found out he was a business major, which honestly made a lot of sense. He was a natural leader, could talk anyone out of or into anything [not admitting I’m one of them, ever], and made everyone feel like they could do anything. The public speaking class held an open mic in the cafe one night when I was there studying for a test. I ignored everyone, drilling the vocab and formulas into my brain when I heard his voice on the mic. I remember looking up, so startled that I nearly dropped my cocoa. He caught my eye from where I sat, as far away as I could be, and smiled. I remember my heart racing, because he never smiled like that at me before. Guardian angel or not, this man had the ability to surprise me at every turn. For the open mic, he recited a poem he wrote about following your dreams and never giving up hope. Before I knew it my notes were forgotten and I was feeling something in my chest I hadn’t felt before. When he was finished, he smiled and thanked the audience before making his way to the table I was sitting at.

“So, what’d you think Sasuke?” he’d asked me. His cheeks were tinted rose and he was scratching the back of his head. I licked my lips nervously when I realized he genuinely wanted my opinion.

“I think … you should take a writing class,” I decided to say. He blinked towards the table before smiling a weird, maybe embarrassed smile and looking back up at me. His eyes were shining, looking more lapis in that instant and I found myself smiling back. I watched as his hand slinked forward and he grasped my textbooks in (impressively) one hand and nodded to the door.

“Let’s head back.”

Nearing the end of the semester, we hung out more. I was tired of distancing myself from people to deal with my pain myself, but was also afraid of what might happen should I let anyone in. Yet, this man, whom I’d apparently known a while, made the pain melt away until it was no longer lingering at the front of my mind. But I didn’t trust whatever he was supposed to represent. There’s been too many bad things in my life that this one good thing made me wary.

Winter break came and I was staying with my uncle again. It was nice being alone again, but part of me missed that energetic asshole. I didn’t want to think about that dazzling smile or those captivating cerulean eyes and I definitely avoided thinking about sitting next to him on a particularly cold night wrapped in blankets and sipping cider. I sighed, standing from my bed, and made my way into the kitchen where my uncle was. When he saw me walk in, he stopped chopping the vegetables meant for dinner and stared at me with those all-knowing, unblinking charcoal eyes that were so like my mother’s. “You miss him.” It wasn’t a question, framed as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. I rolled my shoulders, ready to bark a retort, but I couldn’t bring myself to. He was right, as always. Obito understood me, he got me. So I tilted my head to the side and smiled a little, barely curving my lips. He smiled himself, shaking his head at me as he pointed at the door with his knife.

Curious, I looked over at it and suddenly there was a knock. I gave my uncle a look but he just smiled brighter and went back to chopping. I rolled my eyes but made my way to the door regardless, almost unsurprised by the person standing on the snowy porch. “How did he know,” I asked myself. _Naruto _smiled brightly at me, dipping his head in silent permission. I swung the door wider, helped him out of his winter wear, and hung the weather-heavy scarf on the rack.

“Dinner will be ready soon. Why don’t you give him a tour?” Obito called. I looked at _him _and rose an eyebrow but he nodded fervently. I took him to my room and we both sat on my bed that had the same black bedding as my college bed.

“I remembered, you know.” Naruto whipped his head toward me at my whisper. “I don’t know how I forgot, but I guess I just had a lot of shit going on.”

He smiled at me, not in the overbearing way but the soft way I remembered from the open mic night. The way he smiled at me every time we were alone. “I figured. It just hurt, ya know? We were best friends, and then it was like you became this cold person overnight.” I smiled bitterly down at my feet, knowing exactly what he meant. I had felt it too, the shift, but I thought it was just because of the sudden lack of parents. “I guess when things are going too well something bad has to happen to balance life out, huh?”

I snapped my head up and looked at him with wide eyes, but he just smiled knowingly at me. After a moment I huffed and smirked to myself. “Stupid guardian angel,” I said under my breath, but I was sure he heard me. When I looked back up at him, he seemed closer, and I noticed his hands inching towards my laced ones in my lap. Somehow we started leaning into each other, barely any space between us until-

“Boys! Dinner!” We shook whatever trance we were in and smiled awkwardly at each other, blushes creeping in on both of our faces. Another time, perhaps.


End file.
